My never ending stories...

A LIL BIT OF INTRODUCTORY TO MYSELF (^_^)

A lot had happened these couple of years since I last posted my previous blog. Some are happy moments that i'll forever remember and some are bad memories that i wish to forget. It had been precisely 2 years, 10 months and 2 days since I lost my Abg.Wira. Baby Wira (By-Ya) might be about 2 years plus as well but I havent seen him for a long, long time. K.Linda is now livin' in Dubai, flying with Emirates and she just seems to forget all about me, all about our family. Even so, I wish for her happiness and her well-being.

I'm going to turn 22 years old soon but as I look upon my life journey so far, I havent yet accomplish anything to be proud of. Farid and me had broke up somewhere in February this year and man, that break-up was a disaster to me. Many wouldnt understand as I cried for countless nights and days and keep on doing stuff that I wouldnt normally do just hoping that my heart stop aching.

I'm not really proud of myself as I tried these stuff but I couldnt help it. For the first time of my life I felt so helpless, so weak that I couldnt prioritize what's more important in my life anymore. This is the story about me. Really, I'm not asking for sympathy, this is just merely a small room for me to let myself out. It has always been my secret hiding place.

Dont worry, I'm not doing drugs (god, forbid)... When I first started my degree in Advertising, I was miserable. My best friends from diploma wasnt with me anymore. Then I made new friends, allow new faces in my life. Trusted them, bonding with them, cry and laughes together as the semester passes by. Going into the 2nd semester, I broke up with my x...and I started to screw up my studies, my obligations went aboard, my friends couldnt stand to see me like that and so they back off...

It was at the lowest point in my life and I felt more miserable than ever! I hate myself for sinking this low but would it hurt to let me get up once again? Would it hurt for everyone to assist me and stop talking about me like I really matter to their lives? I'm lucky to have some friends left like Phea, Hawa, Didie and Pasha. They know what I've gone trough and indeed they were furious at the choices that I made but they still stay by my side and constantly remind me of myself again.

Did I mention about Amir? He's my sweetheart. He helps me a lot...Controls me in a good way so that I wouldnt end up hurting myself again.
I'm in love with Amir, no doubt about that but there will always be that insecure part of me which makes me feel scared if he would also leaves me one day. I hope not. I've had enough of people leaving me already. My x had made me lost my mind and turn to a person that I hardly recognized. Thank you Amir dearie for standing by me and never left me feeling alone.